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Post by PolyWife on Nov 8, 2014 11:37:09 GMT -5
linkThought this was interesting. This is becoming more common I think. And it makes a lot of sense sometimes.
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Post by jaykp454 on Nov 8, 2014 12:06:16 GMT -5
That was a very interesting read. I am guessing you looked around after our chat. My wife would be furious if I proposed that to her. It's not an option anyway. We are so far from each other, it would not be amicable and I know her jealousy would fume through the roof. Besides, legally, she would get way more from me when she did divorce years down the line. As with many things, this takes a special kind of person to work.
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Post by PolyWife on Nov 8, 2014 12:31:28 GMT -5
Yes it does and a want to make it work. You can be married to your best friend and still want to be around them and have a family but the spark isn't there. It's not an easy thing and I know that and it's hard. It's like 2 different people meeting different needs and put them together and you have whole. Does that make sense? I don't want to be in a relationship with a man who is cheating. I have done that and it is what it is. But now I want something different and I know what that is and I don't have to settle for less than what I want. I don't want drama or to be a home wrecker because that is not my intention ever. Not to say I haven't been guilty or ever will again but shit does happen and I understand that. I can't even tell you how many times I have heard the same thing from men about why they are cheating. It goes beyond sex for them too. It's the intamacy and the connection with the wife that they are missing. They feel it too and I don't understand why a lot of women think that it is only them that can feel that way. Men aren't as verbal as women I know but if you are married or in a serious relationship with this person for a long time this is something you should know by this point. Relationships ebb and flow. It's just the way it goes. And just because we swing and are Poly doesn't make us have relationship issues automatically. I am not saying we haven't had our issues and some of them really serious but we are committed to each other first and always and talk it out. We love each other and don't see divorce as something that is just immediatley on the table. We have been together a really long time and we have grown up together. We want to stay together but needs change over time and that is where you have to talk and talk and talk and it may not work and you have to make a decision on whether you can accept your spouses wishes.
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Post by jaykp454 on Nov 8, 2014 12:40:31 GMT -5
I feel ya, Poly. Maybe if we had talked about it years ago, my wife and I could have worked something out. At this point, I just want to move on. I can't stand being around her any more. "The Love Languages" is a fantastic book for anyone that has not read it. I highly recommend it. Unfortunately, all parties need to be involved in it. My wife knew my love language and refused to cater to it...
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Post by PolyWife on Nov 9, 2014 19:53:04 GMT -5
I will have to check it out thanks Jaykp54.
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Post by poundcakelover on Nov 12, 2014 15:10:34 GMT -5
Wow. ... interesting concept
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