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Post by jaa1002 on Oct 31, 2014 14:40:08 GMT -5
Hey everyone, I am hoping someone here can give me some advice on how to open my wife up to 3somes or swinging. She can have a very strict narrow minded approach to sex but I have been successful in opening her up to things she wasn't open to before marriage, ie anal and a few other kinks. Cracking the shell on opening her up to others joining in the bedroom has proven difficult. She is very self conscious of herself, being a curvy girl, and has been institutionalized in that sex within marriage can only be between the two married. If I get freaky in bed with her she lets loose and is open for most things as long as it's just us. The fact she opened up to kink and things she wasn't open to before leads me to believe there is hope for adding another person to the mix. I just don't know how to get her mind over the barrier that it's ok and natural and to not be scared. I am open to adding a female on occasion for me and a male on occasion for her and possibly a couple further down the road.
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Post by jaa1002 on Oct 31, 2014 14:46:06 GMT -5
Also, we are a white couple in our upper 20s. Both from small towns, not from VA. I'm looking to go back to grad school while she has a very successful career in medicine.
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Post by PolyWife on Oct 31, 2014 16:02:30 GMT -5
I was raised like your wife. Preacher's daughter, small town, I even married my high school sweetheart. It is so hard to get over and be ok with what society considers normal. It took me a little while to get over the guilt and feeling like I was doing something wrong even though it was consenual all around and no secrets. And enjoying it. It is my life and what I do with my personal life has no effect on anyone but those involved. I was hesitant to get into swinging and non monogamy but we talked about it a lot and it made for very hot sex that went on for about a year. And finally I was ready to take the step. If you force the issue she is going to not come around. My suggestion would be to do some research and have her look at sites and different stories and how they make things work because everyone is different. Read a few books. It may make her feel like it's something you are really seriously interested in and she may start viewing it a different way. Good luck and keep us posted.
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Post by jaykp454 on Nov 1, 2014 15:27:33 GMT -5
I agree with PolyWife. Making it obvious that it is something that you have spent time researching and want to truly share WITH her is a smart idea. As far as her curviness...I have looked at several of these adult websites (ie adultfriendfinder) and the "curvy" girls are adored by everyone. The Barbie looking girls usually have a lot of creepy male followers, but not too many close friends. If your wife does end up being one that is into this, then she will be celebrated grandiosely by men and women alike.
Just please be careful...there are a lot of assholes out there. People that think they are better than others and want everything their way. You are the one with the prize! You have the cards. You tell them what YOU want. I wish you the best of luck. Please keep us updated.
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